“I've noticed an increase in narcissistic tendencies not only in society in general, but within Church leadership, as well.”
Why You Should be Concerned and How to Know if Your Christian Leader is a Narcissist.
I doubt most Christians would believe their leader is a narcissist when considering the general definition for a narcissist. However, in my experience, narcissism in the ranks of the Church can be more complex to discern. It is for that reason I submit the following.
Please…I know this article is lengthy – but unless you are a professional, if you do not read this entire article – you will have a crippled understanding of Narcissism.
If you are a professional, you can skip to the Narcissistic Leader Assessment.
Why I Wrote this Article on Narcissism in Christian Leaders
I’ve noticed an increase in narcissistic tendencies not only in society in general, but within Church leadership, as well. Is that a problem?
In the most concise language I can muster, and it is severe, regarding narcissism amongst the leadership of the Church, my opinion is that narcissism in a leader claiming to be a Christian is equivalent to anti-Christ in motivation and function.
The only “grace” or temporal suspension of judgment is that, often, narcissists don’t see that they are narcissists. Whether that is genuine, innocent, delusional, or clearly understood and ignored is challenging to discern.
That said, I am aware that within the general beliefs of modern mental health practices, narcissists are considered the least likely to be cured. At best, minor improvements to some narcissistic behaviors may be possible with a great deal of therapy, but true change or “deliverance” is not believed possible.
Hosea 4:9 states “The people will be as the priest.” What would that concept mean if your pastor is a narcissist? Is it possible that a narcissist can “breed” narcissists? I don’t think it is unreasonable to consider the possibility that someone with influence over others and who acts with the tendencies of a narcissist will, at least, to some degree, influence others to adopt some of the behaviors of a narcissist. That is a dreadful thought.
That brings us to whether we, as Christians, believe it possible that God can “heal” or remove the “programming” of the narcissist’s mind so they are no longer a narcissist. I will write more about my beliefs as I work with active cases. Until then, I hope you find the following information and the accompanying survey helpful in determining if you are under the leadership of a narcissist.
UNDERSTANDING NARCISSISM
Narcissism Exists on a Spectrum
First, it is important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum; while some people may exhibit narcissistic traits, not everyone with these traits has what modern mental health would classify as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD) which is a more severe and enduring condition characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
Classic Detail Definition of a Narcissist
In the traditional understanding, a narcissist will demonstrate some or all of the following tendencies to a greater or lesser degree over time.
- A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
- A fixation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Believes that he or she is ‘special’ and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- Requires excessive admiration.
- Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
- Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
- Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
- Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”
In summary: a narcissist has an excessive sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration and attention from others. They often view themselves as superior to others and may lack empathy, meaning they struggle to understand or care about the feelings and needs of those around them.
A Simpler Definition of a Narcissist
In simpler terms, a narcissist is someone who is very focused on themselves, often prioritizing their own desires and feelings above others. This can lead to challenges in relationships, as they may not recognize or value the perspectives of other people.
A Biblical Definition of a Narcissist
Selfish, rude, haughty, prideful, arrogant…simply…sin.
Please remember though, I am writing this here in the context of what modern mental health practices consider to be an incurable illness of the mind.
Awareness of Narcisissim in Narcissists
The awareness of narcissism can vary significantly among individuals. Here are some key points to consider:
Lack of Self-Awareness: Many narcissists have a limited awareness of their own behavior and its impact on others. They may genuinely believe that their thoughts and feelings are justified, and thus might not recognize their narcissistic traits as problematic.
Defensiveness and Denial: When confronted with behaviors that suggest narcissism, individuals may become defensive or dismissive. They might reject the diagnosis outright, viewing themselves as misunderstood or unjustly criticized rather than acknowledging any flaws.
Delusional Thinking: Some narcissists may hold grandiose beliefs about themselves that are not grounded in reality. This can contribute to a lack of insight into their own behaviors and how they are perceived by others.
Arrogance and Superiority: Narcissists often display an inflated sense of self-worth and may see themselves as superior to others. This arrogance can further distance them from recognizing their narcissistic tendencies, as they might believe they are above such issues.
Limited Empathy: One of the defining characteristics of narcissism is a lack of empathy. This can make it difficult for them to understand how their behavior affects others, leading to a cycle of unawareness and justification of their actions.
In summary, while some narcissists may have moments of self-reflection, many are likely to reject the idea that they have a problem and may not recognize their traits as narcissistic. This lack of insight can complicate relationships and make it challenging for them to seek help or change their behavior.
Narcissistic Leader Assessment
Please take your time and exert caution when answering the following questions. To answer many of these questions accurately, you must have carefully watched and listened to your leader in many situations; this assessment cannot be successful if you only occasionally encounter your leader in a small sampling of circumstances.
You answered “yes” or “no” to 47 questions. If there were many “yes,” you are likely to have a narcissist for your leader. If you do have a narcissist for a leader, that is a desperate situation, in my opinion.
Thus, based on what I know about narcissists and on over 40 years of ministry work, I believe you should pray for your leader while also praying that God permits you to go elsewhere to serve under a non-narcissist.
Finally, a narcissist does not have to be a leader to be a narcissist; thus, the results of this assessment apply to any person you can observe well enough to answer the questions with accuracy.
Remember that this assessment does not replace a professional evaluation and should not be used to represent a professional diagnosis.
Finally, you may also find reading my article on leaders and followers helpful.
